英语搞笑短剧 5分钟左右 急求

这是我写的两人小剧.是反应基本的卫生习惯的问题.不知你是否喜欢?
人物: Alex 和 Bob
地点:学生宿舍
Flushing the Toilet冲厕所
A: Oh my god, what a stinky smell! Who didn't flush the toilet?
天啊,这么臭气熏天啊? 谁没冲厕所呀?
B: (reading a book silently)(静静地看书)
A: Bob, is that you again?
Bob, 又是你干的好事?
B: what? what about me?
什么? 我又怎么了?
A: You didn't flush the toilet.
你用了厕所没冲!
B: I did.
我冲了.
A: No. you didn't. The stinky smell is unbearable.
你没有! 这臭气熏天,简直无法忍受.
How could you sit here quietly and read your book as if nothing had happened?
你怎么还可以在这静静地看书,好象啥事都没有.?
B: I didn't smell anything.
我没觉得臭呀.
A: I am sure it's you. How could you not smell anything. Go flush the toilet now!
那一定是你干的. 怎么可能什么都闻不到? 快去冲厕所!
B: I remember I did flush it. (He went to the bathroom to flush the toilet.)
我记得我是冲了.(他走进厕所,冲洗马桶)
A: Don't you ever do that again. That's barbarian.
我警告你以后别再这样啊. 那是非常不文明的行为.
B: well, I'll try to remember. ( Bob is eating some cookies now.)
嗯,我尽量记住. ( Bob 拿起些饼干在吃)
A: Did you wash your hands after you flush the toilet?
你冲完厕所有没有洗手呀?
B: Do I have to?
要洗手吗?
A: Oh my god! I think I need to change the room right now..
天啊! 我还是换间寝室好了.
The end 剧终

给我一个搞笑的英文短剧！有翻译的！大约10分钟！

The first act [b] [/ b] valentine's day,Cow: hey, look, what doesn't really painful radio to read books? All trouble
Penny: hi's sister is not every year in hard today? No wonder that you don't get excited, I also was unbalanced
Cow: what! O I everyday
Penny: calculate excuses for not all like valentine's day holiday you sad hi have a boyfriend calculate however like me who receives the beauty should also hi star-crossed
Cow: come on, you can still do you sick star-crossed I see is long
Penny: no! Anyway all the same if nobody accompanies a boyfriend just hey I request is not high as a little better than Andy lau: just so little that I deserve it? You said static
O: what made me still finish this problem
Penny: cattle, o you dizzy
Wife: you listen to my brother etc that I really didn't mean it
Belle: smelly boy dare to play me I was professor
Wife: I really think I could write who download the blind is that what you break the professor published
Belle: yeah! Who would have thought of you who will have the opportunity to see whether the sun waiting for tomorrow together with the Iraqi people pray tomorrow
Wife: boss I was wrong, I didn't dare to the next ANiu will help me the medicine
Belle: next time you want to have the next
RMB: oh what fell fast cast out, I have never lost a lot for the loser is how you are here hey
Penny: what? You so as to self-study
RMB: there is handsome but today I but riches! Wish everyday is a valentine's day so I can have confidence in more than 20 years, Bill Gates has to take
Penny: oh, I won't give you any boy tried to chase my this young lady is not so good bait
RMB: a dollar
Penny: what a dollar
RMB: come on you when I was a philanthropist the roses are sold me the last remaining in a classmate's sake will charge you a cost one dollar hurry
Penny: you go to your roses
Don't throw the gibbet stem ah, I broke or otherwise, I want you to compensate
ANiu: RMB you too! Not a rose
Penny: not just a rose
ANiu: gave penny let her in valentine's day has rose up
Penny: who wants to you
This is not ANiu RMB: yi? You how can here
ANiu: oh how can't I
RMB: of course not! You can be a cucumber brother today isn't what's on
ANiu: I today and cucumber
Today, but you of the valentine's day holiday
ANiu: who said I and he is
The truth: gee hasn't admit in the eyes
ANiu: I really
RMB to sell the roses cucumber still perhaps can earn two three
ANiu: I and how could he that that
RMB exchange rate: hello: now how much 8.31
The ANiu: why would think so don't understand
Penny: this also no wonder who called you all two pairs idiot would think so
ANiu: paired idiotic to cut it
Penny: look at that cucumber cucumber
Cucumber: oh really exhausted me
Penny: cucumber you big box of small box
Cucumber: I don't want to, but I am born the life that I have what way
How ANiu: who is your chocolate
What is all hide cucumber: but my sister
Penny: why are you carrying on which of the elder sister
ANiu: maybe the supermarket's aunt
Cucumber: what do you see this cut like a girl to send
Penny: otherwise is a boy
Cucumber: play to didn't mean it with me this handsome and natural and unrestrained graceful bearing the handsome prince generous woman sending this day someone's things don't cry to shout a somebody else give I see no way to die, I just don't understand those little girls
Penny: there you are... Made today
Cucumber: tell me about it, not even box of chocolate is still depends on what is the lowest price is $decades as the three digits of chocolate I see one took it into the dustbin today, don't know how many girls cry. What is it this way: hi times son have corp.this face
ANiu: ah! The cucumber in uh-oh, I know the way is to carry these are just some of the face is enough for you to call me or a girl
Cucumber: you see this truth call me on my mobile phone, you still play embarrassedly and shy girl
ANiu: that you think why she didn't play your mobile phone
Cucumber: hi somebody else a little girl is always a bit shy? This is not understand my mobile phone? Gee I phone
ANiu: just the shy girl say you are shy of chocolate in the supermarket buy when the phone down on the counter
Cucumber: oh shit
Penny, ANiu: cut hypocrisy
Wang: cucumber how tomorrow also don't now ready to PE! Run so fast to learn to fly? Tomahawk missiles
ANiu: he also wish to fly? How come you miss wang
Wang: oh, this is your next week I filled out the form now go to France, but it's not easy, I spent great effort to get here。给我分

英语搞笑短剧， 4人，10分钟左右。急！好了多加分

Introduction）： Long ago there was a crazy country, in this crazy country there were some crazy people, trying to show the crazy history by crazy ways. Mr Jingke was the most famous swordsman and was sent to kill king of Qing, “Yingzheng”. But finally he failed. Do you want to know what happened at that time? Okay, next show will tell you the truth.Action I太子丹（上，掏出镜子梳头，做自恋状）：
Mirror, mirror, tell me, who is the most pretty man in the world? (画外音：It’s you, Prince Dan! 太子丹高兴状) Thank u mirror! （面对观众）
I’m Prince Dan, the magic mirror said I am the most attractive man in the world. But Ying Zheng is a jealous guy, I feel he will kill me if mirror told him the truth. I am so scared. So what can I do? (向幕里大叫) Where is my minister?
阿三(毕恭毕敬) : Honey, I am coming.
太子丹：I’ve told you again and again that you should call me “my most beautiful、graceful 、handsome、charming、cute、smart and dearest Prince Dan”!
阿三：Sure, honey! I have a good idea. We can find a hero to kill YingZheng~~~
（作杀状）太子：Oh yeah~~~. What is the most expensive commodity in this century? Talent!（二十一世纪最需要的是什么，人才！这句话要跟观众交流，最好由观众来回答，然后拍阿三肩膀，做赞许状） Good idea! But who is the right candidate?
阿三：After screening I have two promising persons on hand. One is Miss LiMoChou, the other is Mr JinKe. Tomorrow they will PK for the NO1 killer of the world.
太子：Well, show me the winner as soon as possible, OK?
阿三：Yes.Action II（《十面埋伏》中刘德华&金成武决斗时的音乐）荆轲Are you Li mochou?李莫愁Yes.荆轲OK. I’m Jingke, you know, I will let you know I am the king of the killers’ world.李莫愁Are you challenging me?
荆轲Off course! 耸耸肩表示同意李莫愁Come on!音乐起两人冲上前来“人在江湖漂啊，哪有不挨刀啊，一刀砍死你啊，两刀砍死你啊。。。。”李莫愁倒地荆轲大笑李莫愁痛苦状：What happened? Why aren’t you hurt?荆轲: We don\'t need any reason to win a person. Don\'t we? Do we? （赢一个人需要理由么，不需要么，需要么？）李莫愁：Momma always said: \"Life is like a box of chocolates, Mochou. You never know what you\'re gonna get.\" I got it, Momma is right.
荆轲再次大笑太子丹上（抱拳）：How are you?
荆柯：Fine, thank you, and you?太子丹：Oh my God! Could you give me an innovative answer to “How are you”?
荆柯：Sure!太子丹：How are you?
（鄙人找不到后半部分，特来求救） 提问者： 冰魄の影魂 - 初级魔法师 三级 答复 共 3 条 荆柯：Fine, thank you, and your wife? 太子丹晕倒荆柯：Hey, man, I’m kidding! 太子丹：Oh, I’m kidding too!（毕恭毕敬）May I have your name card, please? 荆轲从兜里掏出一卷纸，上面写着： To be or not to be, that's a question. 阿三：Hero，we need your help. 荆柯：I am busy now! 太子丹：You can get a lot of money. 荆柯：I am very busy now! 阿三：IC, ID, IQ card? 荆柯：I am very very busy now! 阿三(手指上场的美女，激动状): Look! She is the most beautiful girl in the world. If you say O.K., she is yours. 荆柯（流口水）：I have to say she is a very sexy and beautiful girl, but TCM is my only love! 阿三：What? What’s the TCM? 荆柯; Hey, guy! You look so smart but why you didn’t know TCM? Any of them can give you the answer. 阿三：Excuse me? What’s the TCM? 观众甲：TCM - Traditional Chinese MM . 太子丹：I must show you the trump card. Ladies and gentlemen, this is Lipton Slimming tea. It is a brand new product of Unilever China. 荆柯（激动）：Slimming tea! I have dreamed of it for thousands of times. My wife always threatens to leave me if I couldn’t reduce my weight. 阿三：You want? Speak up if you want! Why do you keep silent? Why are you looking at me? Although your eyes are full of sincerity, I’m very glad, you still have to speak up. Take it! Do you really like? Really?你不是真的想要吧？难道你真的想要吗…… （《No matter》音乐起，荆轲先与阿三跳探戈，拥入怀中，又甩出去，阿三做呕吐状。然后荆轲与太子丹跳伦巴，最后太子丹摆一个女性化的造型，向后弯腰并抬其中一条腿，荆轲做调戏状。）荆柯(诚恳状) Just tell me what should I do? I will do anything for you. 太子丹与阿三（撞胯，击掌）Yeah! Action Ш （《大话西游》主题曲响起）荆珂挽着妻子，太子丹,阿三在后. 阿三：Hero, we have already reached Yishui River. 荆珂：Just stop here, please. Farewell, my friends 太子丹：I will miss you, baby. （太子丹，阿三下。停顿。《泰坦尼克号》主题曲起，荆轲与妻子做Jack和rose在船头的经典造型，忽然荆轲看到一个美女——此时一个中国古典美女经过，向荆轲抛媚眼，并抛下定情手绢。荆轲高兴的盯着美女看，妻子发觉不对，扭过头来。）荆珂（急忙收敛）：Darling, I love you. 妻子：I love you! You mean more to me than anything in this whole world!（《肖申克的救赎》）荆珂(流泪) ：I love you more. In spite of you and me and the whole silly world going to pieces around us, I love you. (哪怕是世界末日我都会爱着你，选自《飘》) 妻子：Well. Be a man, just do it! I will be right here waiting for you. 荆珂（欲走还留，执子之手又曰）：Sweetheart! You must do me this honor... promise me you will survive... that you will never give up... no matter what happens... no matter how hopeless... promise me now, and never let go of that promise（泰坦尼克号沉船时，Jack对Rose的倾诉）. 妻子:"I promise." 荆轲:"Never let go. “ 妻子:"I promise. I will never let go, Jack. I'll never let go." （荆轲的发音和jack很像，所以加了一些《泰坦尼克号》的台词。）妻子努力挤出几滴眼泪，荆珂上船，渐渐远去妻子：It’s a good day to die. Never come back. Never…… Never…… 妻子(掏出手机拨号，阿三接手机)： Thank you very much. As soon as I get the life assurance $1000, 000, I will transfer half of it, $500,000 to your account. 阿三：Okay okay! 旁白：Then Jingke was sent to Qin and finally killed by Yingzheng.
参考资料网站有更多选择。

英语短剧,两分钟左右的,搞笑一点,然后5个人

The busis very crowded.Aman tries to get on,but no one gives way to him.
"Hey,let me get on the bus."the man shouts.
"It's too crowded.You'd better take the next bus."a passenger says to him.
"But you can't go withou me.I'm the driver."the man says.
公共汽车上很拥挤.一位男士想上车,但是没有人给他让路.
"喂,让我上车!"那位男士喊道.
"车太挤了,你最好坐下一辆"车上的一位乘客对他说.
"但是没有我你们走不了.我是司机!"那位男士说道.

我是大一学生，老师让我们组表演‘英语幽默短剧’10分钟左右，有10或11个角色的幽默短剧

这个我们上学期用过，很好用的~~
暴笑+老师好评~~~
Performance @ College : Story of Johnny and Lunch (孔雀东南飞现代搞笑版)
Characters:
Prologue
(J作被打状跑上台，内砸出一个纸筒，J被打中，狼狈不堪)
J: Everybody says that I'm henpecked, but in fact, I'm as strong as a tiger. (Whisper)While my wife is Wu Song. (拍门大叫)I'm not afraid of you! （内砸出一脸盆，J接着当成盾牌护着）Then,I'm afraid of whom? My wife lunch is the most famous woman in neighbourhood. She's braver than me,smarter than me and stronger than me.All of this I do not care. I just want her to be tender than me. But she isn't! Having a wife like this is just like living in the hell!
Act One
(序幕结束时，JM作窃听状)
JM:(拄着拐棍上)I can! (对门内)Lunch! Lunch! Where are you?
L：（揸住锅铲，扎着围裙，从门内跳出来）I'm here!I'm cutting chicken. What's up mum?
JM: I've told you again and again that you should call me "my most beautiful, graceful and dearest mother-in-law".
L: Ok. My most beautiful, graceful and dearest mother-in-law, what's up?
JM:Since you married my son you have behaved so badly, been so rude, so brusque, so lazy...
L: But...
JM:Never interrupt me!
L: Never interrupt me! Since I married your son, that terrible Johnny, I have been working hard all day, cooking and washing. I have raised tens of thousands of pigs and ducks and chickens and...
JM: But all those you have done are not as valuable as a grandson!
L:(生气挥动锅铲)Oh, you want a grandson, don't you?(开始脱围裙) Go and ask your son. I'm leaving!(扔下围裙，扔到JM脸上，下台)
Act Two
(LM坐在台上打毛线，L拿着锅铲上台)
L: Mum, I'm back.
LM: You're back? Why? What happened?
L: I was kicked out by my most beautiful, graceful and dearest mother-in-law.
LM(惊讶，但随即露出幸灾乐祸的神情):See! I have already told you! When you insisted on marrying that terrible Johnny, I told you that he is ugly, stupid and poor. But you didn't listen to me. Look at yourself now!
L: But, mum...
LM: Never interrupt me!
L: Mum, I'm not interrupting you. I just want to tell you that you are always right, OK? And I'll marry whomever you want me to.
LM: (大喜)Nice girl! Just now, I met the Mayor's Son in the market. He said,"If your daughter haven't been married, I really really want to marry her!" Now that you're free again, I'll go and tell him (下台).
L: (惊愣)What? The Mayor's Son? The most famous play boy in neightbourhood? (手中锅铲掉地上)What a silly thing I have done!(下台)
Act Three
(J 睡眼惺忪上台)
J: (边走边道)Lunch! Lunch! Where are my socks? (走几步，在地上捡起袜子) Here they are! (闻一下) ER...How smelly! They're still dirty! (突然想起) Lunch has gone! I have to wash them myself! （肚子似乎咕咕叫了起来）Oh, I'm so hungry, but there is no breakfast! (捡起地上的围裙) This is Lunch's apron(围裙)! I miss her...EXCELLENT cooking skill so much! Now that she has gone, I have to cook for my mother and myself.
JM:(上台) Where's my breakfast? Where is Lunch? Hasn't she got up yet?
J：Mum, can't you remember? Lunch has gone!
JM: (沉吟片刻) Well, to tell you the truth, Johnny, a son without a wife is useless. Lunch is a nice girl. Go and take her back.
J: (立正敬礼)YES, MADAM!
ACT FORE
(J 开心地走着，忽然跳出三强盗)
A: Hey you! Stop and listen to me. The road is built by me!(一脚踩在一石头上)
B: And I planted one tree!(踩同一石头)
C: If you want to go by this street...(欲踩石头，但踩到A的脚)
B：Give us...
A: All
C: your money!
J: （搜遍每一口袋，掏出一1角硬币）Is 1 mao enough?
(ABC晕倒状，接着三人聚在一边商量)
A: What a bad luck! This guy is broken!
B: If we can't rob any money today, we'll have nothing to eat tonight.
C: I heard that the Mayor's Son is going to marry Miss Lunch next month, we can go and rob the wedding!
AB: Good idea!
J:(惊讶)What? What? Lunch is going to get married? Impossible!
A:Why?
B: A pretty girl and a rich man.
C: What a good couple!
J: But Lunch is my wife, we haven't got divorced yet.(突然有主意) I've got an idea! You are going to rob the wedding, aren't you? I'll go with you. you take the money, and I take the bride.
B: Have you got any experience?
J: No, but I've got this!(J 脱下鞋子，从里面抹出一张支票，上书：$1,000,000,ABC见状跟着J下台，目光跟着钱)
Act Five
(转眼已到婚礼之期，MS意气风发用红绸牵着新娘上台，L盖着红盖头极不情愿的被拉上台)
（J A B C 跃至台中）
A: Hey you!
BCJ: Stop and listen to us!
A: The road is built by me.
B: And I planted one tree!
C: If you want to go by this street...
J: Give us all your money!
(L 听到J 的声音，掀起了盖头)
L: （惊喜万分）Johnny! (不顾一切地飞奔到J 的身后)
（MS大怒，挥拳向J 打来，J 矮身一躲，MS 打中J 身后的L , L晕倒）
J: (火冒三丈) How dare you beat my wife! (挥拳打向MS)
(J与 MS混战，JM悄悄上在MS后)
J: (指着MS后向MS讲)Hey, Pretty girl!
(MS向后一望，JM用拐杖将其打倒)
（J 将MS胸前的新郎标志撤下来，戴在自己的胸前）
J: (扶起L,关切地问)Honey, How are you?
L:(Crying...) Thurtalot!
J: Don't cry baby, I'll fetch some medicine for you (下台)
L:(起身去追)Wait for me!(跑下台)
（音乐起：罗密欧与祝英台）
END...